Writing for the sake of writing.

Guys.

Guys!

......I finally have time to write.

Seems like ages since I sat down at Starbucks and cranked out some words. Other than school, friends, and work, it's taken me a lot of plotting, coffee, and scribbling on notebooks to get to where I am now, which is about to work on a new idea.

Yeah I know, I know. Not sure how many times I've said THAT before, but I'm hoping this will be different. Why?--because something clicked in my head: I'm done playing by the rules. I've spent so much time worrying about what agents will think, why publishing houses would never buy this story. In all the stress and worry and frustration, I forgot that writing was my passion. I forgot that writing was what made me happy. So I'm falling back to my roots. Some of what I've written is too tangled in the worries I had before, and I'm tired of trying to fix it at this moment in time. Maybe some day I'll tend to the messy WIP folders I have, but until then, I'm starting over. Writing just what I want to write because that is my passion. If it's good--wonderful. But it doesn't matter to me so much anymore.

I just miss writing for the sake of writing.

As it is, I'm adventuring into the lands of male PoVs. Wish me luck.

Epic Board 'O Stickies - Part two

This represents my inner lolcat editor. I'm 7k words into my rewrite of a rewrite intro and already I'm seeing problems. Naturally, I'm on the verge of picking up the closest pointy object and jamming it into my screen, but alas, it won't help.

While I love epicness (hence why I'm writing urban FANTASY) I've come to realize that epic stories can be too epic...and too unbelievable. Okay, I mean, I'm writing a UF/dystopian novel--something that tends to be a bit on the extreme end of realism--but with Neira having insane amounts of badassery, I'm thinking that it'll be difficult with people to connect with her. Of course, I adore her, but she isn't super woman and she IS a teenager with teenager problems mixing in with the dystopian life she lives in.

The tricky part? Trying to not be my perfectionist self and just write. The urge to go back and rewrite the intro FOR THE FOURTH TIME is tempting, but at this rate, I will NEVER FINISH. I just need to write and not look back...at least, not until I finish.

So for the time being, I'm restarting my "Epic Board 'O Stickies" on my wall and making clear and precise notes about what I want. Starting now, I'm going to try to get past that little nagging thought in my head telling me to make it perfect NOW rather than later, and just start writing my characters, plots, and scenes the way I want. It's one of my biggest problems. The way I see things in my head almost NEVER come out onto paper that way. Frustrated? Definitely.

It's spring break, and that means...

...I'm more or less doing something like this:

This next week, while I'll also been drowning in that which we call "presentations" and "tests" the week I get back, meaning there will be studying, I do know that I'm not working the entire week. Translation: MOAR WRITING!!!1

Seeing as how our breaks are the same week, me and Sarah have plans to drink ungodly amounts of coffee, drown our ears in Two Steps from Hell, and generally cause chaos and confusion in the human world type away on Lappies. Well, she'll be betaing novels, I'll be writing, but the coffee and music will indeed happen.

As a little side note, just because I'm all sorts of happy, I got an invite to join the group blog GotYA which will be debuting early April. I'm really excited to work with all the rockstar writers again. Their awesomeness...it's limitless.

As a final update, I have (maybe) decided to work on Feral, my dystiopian novel rather than Concealed. While Concealed is still my baby, I feel a bit burnt out on it having written it, partially revised, rewrote it, then started revising again. I'm a decent 55k in, but the beginning now doesn't add up with the rest of the book, nor do I think I want to keep the rest of the book the same. Always-changing ideas and character advancements. Someday soon, I will finish it, but for the time being, I need to set it aside. After focusing for 3 years on these characters, the stress of trying to get it the way I see it is overwhelming. So this Spring Break is dedicated to Feral, which I intend to write lots of. I'm hoping to get at least 1/3 of the way through, if not more. I have an entire week of nothing but writing (with tidbits of studying and getting together with my group for a presentation) and I plan to fully use all of that time.

No-Teaser Tuesday

Yup, you heard me. No, I'm not being anti-TT, I just didn't get enough time to write/edit up a piece, especially since I'm conflicted still.

Mainly because of my History 11 class, which is American History until 1877. Normally this class is my sleep aid, but lately, since I've been into the creative mood, it's my Godsend. I can't count the number of times that I'm listening to lecture and suddenly space out thinking, "Oh man, what if this happened instead." or "I wonder what this would be like if it happened now."

Long story short: I have the missing piece of Feral--my YA dystopian. I don't want to give away any details yet, because it's still in the planning process (Ok, I have a general plot, but I don't know how said plot gets to said scenes in my head :P)

Me thinks I need a break from Concealed and the problems I always have with it. The more I try to write it, the more I end up changing it because it's always getting better. With Feral, I'm planning it as a stand-alone. It'll make my brain less fried doing a solo novel.

oh hai

I know, I've been a bad blogger. I won't bore with the details of work and school, but I figured that I would do a quick update. I promise to post something more interesting when I have time.

First of all, I'll start by saying, "My Muse is back from vacation." At least, that's where I liked to think she went. For the last couple of weeks, I've been in a writing funk. The exciting intro rewrite that I had planned for Concealed took a turn for the worse. For some reason, it started out as dark and dreary, and moved onto lame and cheesy. Not sure what happened exactly. But as I was taking a look at deleting a section and trying to point it in a different direction, I came across ANOTHER idea. Yes, you heard me, yet another intro idea.

So what did I decide to do? Start over of course. I plotted it out better this time: adding in smaller details, giving good reasons for why Neira is doing what she's doing. I even have dialogue down. And best of all, I'm introducing my villain into the first chapter. Out of everything I have in my book, the relationship between my antagonist and protagonist is my favorite all around. It's amazing to write, to picture, to create. The more I thought about their characters, the more details started popping up for the second book.

I know, I know--I'm not even done with the first, why am I thinking about the second? Because the second is not only going to be absolutely fantastic, it's also important to the first book. I'm not a one-book-at-a-time writer. I look at the big picture, the jumbled up puzzle being put together throughout three books.

In all honesty, as much as I hated not writing for several weeks due to lack of motivation, I never stopped thinking about wanting to disappear into my own head and party with my characters my book and my characters and my story. The longer I took a break, the better my ideas were becoming. They were stewing, simmering inside. I know I always say I'm excited for this new idea or this new chapter, but this time, I think this is it. I think this is the start I've been aiming for. This time, I'm not stopping. I'm going to write this new intro, mesh it with the 50k I wrote before, and finished the last 20k. It's going to take a lot of work, but I'm done letting my Muse slack off. This story has gone through a full 2 drafts and almost 3 years. I'm too excited to stop now.

As a last side note, the awesome folks over at YA Highway have posted this lovely link to Publishers Weekly about dystopian novels. I wouldn't be a good little dystopian/urban fantasy writer if I didn't relink it. It's a great article that makes me very happy seeing as it tells of dystopian novels growing quickly in popularity and numbers. I can't wait to read some of them.

Brain, I love you!

There are certain days where everything just seems to fall into place. The fog rolls away, the world seems brighter...and you become best friends with your own brain.

It seems that this happens a lot lately--mostly at 3am and after four shots of espresso--but it is still a raucous, overwhelming joy, mixed with a smidge of your heart trying to leap through your chest. And honestly, I can't get enough.

I'm proud of myself for how much I was able to write today, catching up with the days that I missed during the holidays and pulling ahead to complete 40k words, up from 35. It wasn't only the fact that I, astonishingly, reached my goal and brought myself to just under halfway finished, but I created an entirely new and more exciting plot twist for the chapters I was working on. An added bonus to completing my goal, which I set above my actual expectations in hopes of the elated feeling I'm having right now.

Of course, the worst part of finding my muse at 3am is I have no one to blab it to in person. Back when I lived in my last apartment, I would barge into Sarah's room, awake or asleep, and babble on about my exciting new discovery. Poor girl.

Now, however, I must keep it to myself, hide it away until tomorrow, where I will proceed to babble on to Sarah about my exciting new discovery. Again, poor girl :P

At least I have you, Blogger *hugs* You might prevent me from fursploding from excitement. No promises.

Almost done...

With the year, not with Concealed. While I'll admit that I've slacked (and felt terribly lazy for it) on writing with the Christmas holidays, I'm happy to say that I'll be back to it tomorrow. After a gift card for iTunes store, Forever 21, various trinkets, and a ton of food, I'm more than ready to get back onto that horse again. It was a much needed break after the constant rush of writing, but now I'm just eager for it to be done. I'm just worried that if I can't make it go the right direction, I'm going to end up writing myself into a hole.

I guess I'll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it.

In other news, a big congrats to my favorite little writer *coughandbestfriendcough*, Sarah, who will be finishing her manuscript this next week...again. Same characters, same plot points, same length--different focus, dealing with bigger issues like morals and making difficult decisions. I think it's going to be wonderful, as is her writing, but I know that I can't wait to tear it to pieces--err--beta read it :D Much love, hun. You have me completely excited!

As a last little update, I have at least decided to get to 35k words before the night ends, which really doesn't mean anything since I've been at 34,870 for 3 days now. It's just more of bragging rights.

Anyways, Happy Holidays to everyone. I hope it was cheerful :)

i can haz riting tyme?

Another late night up writing. It seems that lately this is the best time for me to write, uninterrupted and peaceful, my brain still buzzing with the days events. As mentioned in a previous post, this is when my muse is most active, it seems. After not being able to write anything in three days, then to come back and pick up at 11pm for a hurried 1k words in less than an hour...I have to say, I love nighttime.

With Christmas season approaching, I'm surprised how much I've had to limit my writing output for shopping, friends and family, work, and a wedding. I was able to write tonight, and it came out nice.

However, I am falling behind on my own novel goal with the delays, not sure if I'll be able to finish in 50k words in 3 weeks plus a week of revisions. The goal was set to finish my WIP before my friend departs for Scotland for six months.

I wanted to finish around January 15th, 11 days before she left so that I would have time to revise and fix things, but that's not going to happen the way I imagined. I'll have to go till later and cut down the revision time from 11 days to 7 days or less. I have so many plot holes or points that need to be spruced up (as seen in my last post). I figured that it's a 10 hour flight with two layovers...she might want something to entertain her, assuming that it's entertaining of course :-S

If I can reach my goal, I'll not only make my friend (hopefully) happy, but I'll be ready to settle down and revise, revise, revise and query, query, query. Depending on how well Concealed goes, I'll either be working on a YA contempt/mystery/thriller-ish SNI that came to mind a week or so back. It's not an epic, world-building, magic trilogy with kickass characters, but it's still pretty epic. I'm pretty excited to write it, even if it does mean putting Feral and Concealed aside. I hope that one day Concealed will find a home, even if it means trying to sell another idea and coming back to that one. Don't worry Neira, Kalina, Adarin, and Dayne; I will never forget about you guys!

If the miraculous does happen and I'm able to finish 50k, there shall be a party.

Current word count: 32,246

Chapters: on 17

Pages: 127 Word/137 preferred text format

Words per day to reach goal: 1657

By golly, I think I can do it. It'll be difficult, but I guess since work has slowed waaaay down, leaving no events until January, I have much more time to dedicate to writing. Let's see how I do :)

Nighttime: My Muse's Muse

It's one of the unexplainable phenomenons , like Stonehenge and Jello.

It's late. Lying in the bed of your cave (or bedroom. Whatever normal people call it.), you close your eyes, attempting to shut down your mind, only to suddenly snap awake. You scramble out of bed and to your roommate's door, knocking quickly because the world will just end if you don't tell them what is so important. Without waiting for an answer, you burst in, waking them from sleep.

"What?" they ask, grumpy from fatigue and being scared half to death from the door slamming against the wall.

"I just had an epiphany!"

Blank stare.

"I know how this section of the story is going to end."

You close the door just as the pillow hits, a smile on your face.

Nighttime writing: the most amazing gift I've ever received. I don't know what it is about the darkness, the quiet, and the growing fatigue that makes my mind race with ideas. I've already laid out my hours of operation, which is mostly from 11am or noon to 3am, leaving me a nice 8-9 hour sleep. A part of me doesn't like feeling that I waste my entire morning, the other half is calling me and idiot because it knows I like the nighttime better. My insulting half won.

Of course, the above story never actually happened...at least not that way. When I lived with Sarah, there was no pillow throwing, irritated voices, or blank stars (*snickers* Okay, there were those). Mostly it was calling me a nerd and laughing as I closed the door and went back into my room to reflect on my own brilliance.

For the most part, I'm curious if anyone else is like me--valuing the ideas that nighttime gives, or perhaps you have their more inspirational moments in the morning after you first wake up. Maybe it's in the middle of the day.

Most inspired time to write. Go!

Teased!

Why yes, I have started Teaser Tuesdays again with the lovely ladies at AW. I must say, it feels excellent. A seriously brief update first followed by a section of Concealed that I really like as an unofficial query.

Words: 12446

Chapters: 7

Pages: 46

Not too bad. It's going by quickly. Well, only the teaser :)

*************************

*snipped*

So. Much. Better!

Just thought I would give a brief update about how my writing is going. As the title says, it is going so well! I currently just finished chapter three, which I'll admit was a tad boring in the beginning, but got better in the middle. In fact, the first two and a half chapters are not spectacular. It's interesting, I will say that, but I feel that I delivered an amazing intro paragraph, and from there, it's blah. Then there is the third chapter, where you get to unofficially meet the famous Seducer. The fifth or sixth chapter is when my favorite Healer appears. That is what I cannot wait to write. Hopefully me and Sarah get our Write-a-thon tomorrow, allowing me to get to chapter five or six where the fun begins. Excited!

Anyways, here are my stats so far, if you haven't read the Progress Bar:

Words: 7635

Chapters: Starting 5th

Pages (using Hunger Games font): 32.4 book pages/28 Word pages

It's a bit slow writing-and-book-wise, but it is starting to pick up and get more entertaining with the more characters I introduce. As of now, it is only Neira (MC) and her older sister Kali, who is also an MC, just not from her perspective.

I have decided that I do indeed have a dark mind. The direction of this book is edgy, angst, dark, but it is also giddy (at least I think so), heartwarming, occasionally sad. There are thing that I added into this book that weren't in the last, and there were things I took out of this book that were in the last. Some of it I regret not adding in, but mostly, I'm just happy with how this is turning out. I really feel like this will go over well with agents, if I don't get rejected immediately for a X-Men or Heroes wannabe plot. I don't suppose begging them to read it so they understand that it is definitely not X-Men or Heroes is out of the question? *shrug* Guess I'll just need to query it right when the time comes...

Another successful NW

Good news: I'm finally starting my new job tomorrow and Saturday.

Bad news: I miss two night writes.

I must say, I think I'm having major success with Feral. The change of perspective coupled with her sarcasm (which is somehow unexplainably different from Neira's) makes it very refreshing. I've been having really good success with The Jaded Portal and I am in no way not making it my priority, but the burnout from rewriting it has me down a bit. It'll take me a bit to finish the rewrite, and then I have to start the editing process, which is going to be just as big of a pain in the ass. As soon as I finish the rewrite, however, I'll be trekking into Query Letter Hell, a perilous journey into the untamed forests of agencies. It's about as much fun as sticking your hand in a blender...

Anyways, I would say QLH starts in roughly two months, maybe more, maybe less--it depends on how much of JP rewrite I have left to do (which is quite a lot, I believe) and how burnt out I get.

I guess I can only wait and see.

5638 words for Feral and growing.

Jaded Portal has, astonishingly, grown larger with this rewrite. I don't know the exact word count, but I would probably say closer to 103k words over the original 102k. I don't even know how that happened...