Teaser Tuesday 4!

My new favorite day of the week! While I appreciated the amazing support of Feral last week, I'm gonna have to go back to Jaded Portal. I've been informed that I need to read Uglies, Pretties, and Specials by Scott Westerfeld because my teaser was looking strikingly familiar to it, and I've never even read a summary of the books. I guess I just have an imagination that is in sync with his...

This is a teaser from my chapter two rewrite, which is coming along amazingly. I was very happy with this, but I think some bits that I've written are incredibly intense and gorey. I'm not sure how that would settle with people, so if I could get some feedback on that, I would love you all forever!

Here it goes, from the newest rewrite of the Jaded Portal. I apologize for the length. There wasn't really a good part to cut it off at:
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*snipped*

6 comments:

Sarah said...

Hell yeah! Good rewrite. The mention of the blood all over Neira is a good detail.

Kaitlin Ward said...

The gore was just the right amount, IMO. Don't be worried about it! This is great:)

Becca said...

I live for gore in most of my short fiction and poetry. Not so much in my novels. But I think you did a great job. :)

Now I'm worried about Kali. :(

Paranormalchick said...

Awe I'm worried :( Is she gonna be okay????? Great job, love the fight!

Sumayyah said...

Wow, so intense! I hope Kali's okay. And you did great with the gore - it wasn't overdone. :)

Stephanie said...

Very intense, I love fight scenes! Great job with this!

 
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