Teaser Tuesday 7

So I decided to post from Jaded Portals this time, but this scene will actually no longer be in the book. There is a scene in the book that takes up three to four chapters that is getting completely cut. I need to write it for a younger age, and in this teaser, they're 21. Doesn't work anymore now that they are 17, but I enjoy tension, so I thought I would throw this out there.
But I am glad that I am getting rid of those chapters. I honestly can say that I never really liked them except for a few parts. This snippet is alright. Its some of my old writing, so its not very well written. Guess that's what rewrites are for, eh?



Amanda said...

"Tell me that I look at you like a prize to be won"

That made me think of Aladdin. =]

I liked it. Kinda disappointed it doesn't work with the story anymore.

Kaitlin Ward said...

I like it! Too bad you have to let it go, but sometimes it feels good to get rid of stuff that doesn't fit.

Sumayyah said...

I could have sworn I commented but obviously not. =] The tension here is great. It's a shame you had to cut it. :(

Paranormalchick said...

I want to know what the heck that ring is for!! LOL Great snip, too bad about the cutting...but if it doesn't move your story along...I understand :(

Sarah said...

NO! You can't cut this scene! Make it work!!!! lol.

I just love it too much.

Krista Ashe said...

Oh God, I LOVED this scene!!! The tension was awesone! I wanna know what all is going on and lead up to this!

Keep it coming girl!

Becca said...

OMG I loved this! Why do you have to get rid of it? And what the heck is that ring for? This dude sounds HOT! LMAO

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